Chubby Jones

DANCE PARTY FRIDAY!!!! (as long as there are no accidents)

She loooves the sprinkler move.

Sue Teller puts the old in "old skool". Not only can she play the harpsichord and pretend to like the taste of Mountain Dew - she can throw it down on the ones and twos. Granny Teller shows us how to create a mash-up, although she'll never be as good as Girl Talk or 2 Many DJs she can still drop it like it's hot...and old. WHAT WHAT!

The 70's were a simpler time when people played checkers, hopscotch and ball buster.

My favorite part of this commercial is at the very end, when the man gets so upset about the woman busting his balls.

Easily one of the coolest and scariest videos ever made, I give you: Liars "Plaster Casts of Everything"

We fink this is terribly charming

Backstage Bilingual episode 2

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Oh this is just too good to be true. The Sun is speculating that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz might be engaged AND pregnant. At a recent cd signing event for her new album, Out of My Head (Ya Ya), the better Simpson sister's ring finger was looking a bit more bedazzled.

We're really sorry to say this because we're sure of at least some backlash but...Pete Wentz is a sexy beast.
We don't care if you're not into the androgynous emo skater-punk look. There is something undeniably hot about him.

Gary Busey is a bit of a wild card; the crazy doesn't just lurk in the darkness of his eyes, it dances in front of his corneas. Let's be honest, that's what we love about him. So, it should be no surprise that when this former Celebrity Fit Club member saw Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet at last night's Oscars he got a little over-excited and stole the show (and a kiss) from Jennifer Garner.

Watching this video makes us even more thankful for Gary Busey. He actually makes things INTERESTING during one of these lame interviews. And, while Ryan is later trying to squirm his way out of the hijacked interview, he's really the one who threw Jen Garner into Busey's hands in the first place - making sure they had been introduced.

The Brit Awards had some high profile performances (and we're not talking Britney Spears awards, those were already handed out and her pink wig-wearing personality went home with all of the prizes). Mika won as the Best Breakthrough Artist of 2008. Here he sings with The Gossip's lead singer, and one of Chubby's faves, Beth Ditto.

The tuxedo pants just aren't doing it for us. The Mr. might be a sister, but he missed some of the fashion sense many of the Marys are blessed with. He can't pull off the high-pitched Bee Gee's throwback voice and high theatrical value that Scissors Sisters frontman Jake Shears pulls off so effortlessly either.

Beth Ditto on the other hand, can belt it out like no one's business. She may be larger than life (and that might not be the most flattering of outfit choices), but her talent is larger than life as well. Mika, ruined her freaking song.

We wish we could play this game with Mika's head, but yet again, the Scissor Sisters out-do him.

As if Monopoly couldn't get any more boring, Universal Pictures is now thinking about making a MOVIE about it. Hopefully it will take less time to sit through than it does to play the actual game.

Please Hammer, don't hurt us...It seems as though Reality Television only prepares its "stars" for more Reality Television. Let's call it the Real World/Road Rules Career Path as it seems as though the only thing those fools are good for is appearing on a Real World/Road Rules Challenge. M.C. Hammer, ruler of the Hammer Pant, has already appeared on VH1's The Surreal Life and is now shopping around a reality program based on the ups and downs of his life.

Chubby has caught a bit of a cold. Wah wah. So while we're drinking tea and catching up on who the real baby daddy is on Maury Povich, we'll leave you with a clip from the British show, French and Saunders. Dawn French does an amazing job parodying Bjork's Big Time Sensuality

When we die, we want to come back as one of Martha Stewart's dogs. Each meal will probably consist of the finest meats. We would wear only the finest in haute dog couture. And we would be sent to the finest of groomers.

To top it all off, at night we could doze off into our Martha Stewart brand doggie beds knowing that we are more than appreciated. In fact, the fur that was just shaved off of our bellies will be used as yarn to make something special for Momma Martha. This is no joke. Paw Paw's fur is being woven into yarn and Martha is asking for suggestions as to what to make with it.

Some of our ideas?
A superhero cape - You can never really have too many of those
A sexy nighty - Chow fur will totally keep you warm even when you're scantily clad!
Hair extensions - If anyone can do it, Martha sure can! Halloween will be AMAZING this year.
Swimsuit - He looked so cute getting his hair shampooed! There may even be enough hair to make a sarong, very classy.

Any ideas out there in the peanut gallery? Put 'em in the comments!

Oh, and as if you needed any more reason to love Martha:

Somehow we missed the first Step Up (we were probably too busy watching Save the Last Dance or Stomp the Yard) but right now we wished we lived closer to Mandi Bierly so that we'd both have someone else to see Step Up 2 with.

To bow our heads even lower in shame, we kind of also want to see How She Move

Don't judge us.

My gawd we love this...and we've lived some of it too.

Ooooh Lily Allen, we love you. We heard about your new BBC talk show and were a little bit worried about it, particularly since you started taping after learning of your unfortunate miscarriage. But girl, you look great. Beautiful, in fact. And you deserve higher quality guests than Tay Zonday, who creeps us out almost more than clowns do.

After seeing this, we can't get the image/sound out of our heads of him ordering a White Castle Crave Case to the tune of Chocolate Rain.

Last Friday I was welcomed into the apartment that houses folk-pop artist, Reddelicious. She was a little shy at first, as was I, especially since she agreed to be the very first band interviewed for the site. She likes to play shows for 16 year old kids whose love for music hasn't been jaded by the Grammys (unlike some of the rest of us). She doesn't like being called a ginger kid and points out the differences between gingers vs. redheads.

She graciously played two of her songs for us, and I've been singing them in my head all weekend. Enjoy!

Ok, so this is really funny

....BUT where the HELL was this spelling bee when she was trying to spell tasty? She's Fergalicious, but according to her she is T-A-S-T-E-Y.

Come on Fergs, when you're doin it for the children, do it right.

Brenda Dickson proves that the 80's were obviously big drug years, especially in fashion. Where was Nancy Reagan when we needed her?

Someone from VH1's I Love the 80's should've paid Ms. Dickson for writing their entire show for them.

"I chose orange lipstick"
"Ostrich feathers anyone?"
"Leather is great, I wear a lot of it"
"I just add a belt and I'm ready to go!"
"Leggings and oversize sweaters are great"

Something tells me I'm going to have to do one of these for 2008.

Seth's bar mitzvah was a real hit. I love how half of the family seems completely embarrassed to be associated with them. Linda Richmond in front looks like the singing is giving her indigestion. Grandpa Mordechi seems to be having a great time though. Welcome to the world of manhood!

p.s. if you make it past the first two minutes, you are a very brave soul.

I'm not even sure I have words for what you about to see, especially since when I was a six year old I was convinced that one day I would marry Mr. T. If I had seen this earlier, maybe I would still be living the dream.

Ashley Simpson isn't my least favorite celebrity. I mean, she's kind of pretty -she's way better-looking than her man-chin, Proactive-pushing, tweedle dumb sister, Jessica. Her boyfriend, Pete Wentz, rocks the guyliner better than most men in tight black pants. And shhhhh don't tell anyone, but a couple of years ago I totally downloaded her song, "Boyfriend", to be one of my ringtones. I don't even care that she didn't sing on Saturday Night Live - I'd rather see her do an awkward jig ANY DAY! But when today's Idolator mentioned that her new song, Rule Breaker, was a possible attempt to transform into the likes of electro-punk crusaders Le Tigre, I had to end the lovefest.

Le Tigre's music is about power and feminism. It's about shaking your ass all the way to the next human rights protest. Ashley's music seems to be about how she has a boyfriend "We like to break rules; both got tattoos" and wants to fight for her right to party in ways that perhaps Papa Joe wouldn't be too happy about - "I don't wanna fight, tonight, but I aint goin home for no one" --Oooooooooh SNAP! Ashley, layin down the law! She'd also like us to think she's hardcore by suggesting, "Some say I'm a black sheep cuz I like to sleep late" - A "black sheep"? Really? I'd just think you were out partying late, or maybe in college, or even better yet, you're JUST LIKE ME! You go girl.

I don't think Maura Johnston over at Idolator really meant that Ashley was trying to mold herself into someone who makes important music (that would be a cruel joke on all of us); I think Le Tigre may have just been the first electro-clashy sounding band that popped into her head. Regardless, Ms. Simpson can't pull off the electroclash for me. Her voice is too whiney, her lyrics too dopey to be interesting. I'll let you be the judge for yourself:

I'll also direct your attention to the genius of Le Tigre's 1999 hit Deceptacon:

I'm about to peace out of this 4 degree weather and head on out to sunny 75 degree Florida weather. You see, there's a Pirate Festival taking place, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to swig some drinks back with people wearing eye patches, hooks, and fluffy button down shirts. I will - of course - paint my face, because any excuse to be in a costume usually gets me in one.

Before I leave I wanted to leave you with this - It's Of Montreal's cover of M.I.A.'s Jimmy and it is HOT TO DEATH! Thanks to Pitchfork for the download, and big thanks to my pal at Ugly Yeti for the head's up.

Also...I want to leave you with this, so that you too can think about how much you loved Reality Bites. It was a much simpler time when Winona Ryder was cute and didn't need to go to court appearances; Jeanine Garafolo was someone you wanted to be friends with; Ethan Hawke was greasier and still somehow much more attractive; and I could remember the guy's name who played Sammy.