Blind Items - Guessing Games
Chalk another one up for the hets! When Stud-Bucket LeBeouf (no relation to the errant driving one) gets a woody for somebody other than his wife, he gets it in writing—always. But let's back up; wouldn't want to shoot our Blind Vice wad too soon, ya know!
Oh, and also: Look, for those of you out there who so (naively) think these jokers in H'town don't hook up with their attorneys looking over their erections at the same time, hey, you got another think comin', babes.
So, back to Stud:
Guess not everyone in H'wood is gay, but many in this town are pretty damn slimy. Mr. LeBeouf, for example. He's a megastar, by all standards, no doubt about that. S-B is mediocre-talented at his nonthespian career, but there's nothing mediocre about his looks—I mean, if I weren't married, I'd drool over him with the rest of the starry-eyed lot, fer sure; the dude's totally doable. He's got the bod, the hair, the style and the equipment down below, to boot (something I swear every one of my chick friends tells me they care more about than do gay men, and sisters, that is so saying a lot).
S-B.L.'s equally famous wife is just the topping to his sweet-ass life. He's pretty much the dude every guy wants to be and every gal wants to nail. Howev, lucky enough for the femmes, this is damn feasible. S2 has no problem stepping out on his honey and fam. He's just careful as hell when he does it: "He makes you sign one gnarly confidentiality contract beforehand," dished a recent and fresh Stud screw. "He uses them as customary procedure whenever he cheats," oozed the female, and this is quite often, trust.
Want details? Which kind? The inky ones first: Yes, we're literally talking a typed-up and ready-to-go piece of paper Stud-Bucket carries around with him, ya know, just in case. Like a condom! What, is this the newer safer sex? And there are no exceptions. Ever. Every lady Mr. L. has is required to sign on the dotted line before she's allowed between the sheets, which brings us directly to the second set of details. "Nothing kinky," blabbed our first-genital source, "but very nice ride"; most excellent tools, she added. Jeez, we're pretty surprised S-B.L. hasn't gotten caught by his wife-unit more often; we hear she's dumb in more ways than one.
Hmm, this is a tough one. David Beckham? Jon Bon Jovi? Mel Torme?
Something a little different today. Always willing to change things up. This one is actually about the wife of a B list television star on one of the biggest comedies on television. It is not that hard, but when someone e-mailed me the story I just had to post it. It also takes place in Iowa which is odd because this is the second or third one we have had from the Iowa Writer's Workshop.
Before our subject got married she was a writer in the workshop. While there she met a male writer. This male writer did really well in the program. He graduated with tons of prospects--got himself a big agent, some money to support himself while he wrote post MFA, etc. While at Iowa, he became close friends with our subject. After a year of writing, he was ready to go--had his short story collection done, was going to hit the road to become the next Big Writing Star.
Except that he came home one night and everything--computer, disc drives, backups, paper copies, etc--of his work had been stolen in a burglary. A year's worth of work---out the door with a crackhead looking for some quick cash. Our male writer went into a tailspin--his life's ambitions were stolen from him in one night.
His support during this time came from our actor's wife, who continued to
encourage him to write, and who just helped him through that dark period, which lasted well over two years.
This feel-good story has a sweet ending, too---ten years later, our male writer
is back with a short story collection, and continues to write. Friends have helped him to set up a mini-midwest book tour, from connections he made while at Iowa, and a reading at the Knitting Factory in LA for him later this month, set up by his friend, our actor's wife.
No clue on this one. I'll guess someone from My Name is Earl or The Office.