I need you to promise me that you will not judge, nor be too jealous of me after you read what I am about to say. When I was in 6th grade, I went to a concert featuring En Vogue, Vanilla Ice and the headliner was MC Hammer. I had the Hammer pants, knew all the words and dance moves to "Can't Touch This" and even bought the cassingle, "Addams Family Groove". What I'm saying is, I had lots of love for The Hammer.

After he was no longer 2 Legit 2 Quit, and was back to just being good old Stanley Burrell, he had some money issues and became ripe for his very own E! True Hollywood Story and VH1 Behind the Music episode. When that happens, it's time for a book deal to get you out of financial misery (I'm sure Suze Orman tells everyone that).

Lo and behold, in 2003 Hammer got a book deal from major publisher Simon and Schuster to pen, Enemies of the Father: Messages from the Heart on Being a Family Man. Unfortunately for the publisher, Hammer never went through with the book. I'm gonna go ahead and applaud him for that, it sounded like a snoozefest. The thing is, publishers don't usually take kindly to people not delivering on goods that have already been paid for. So, Hammer is getting sued to the tune of $61,000.

We'll see how it all works out but the man who put diaper pants on the map doesn't seem too worried about it. Worse comes to worse, I'm sure he could rent himself out for fairly good money to be the celebrity wedding minister.