What I'd really like to know is - if Darwin's theory of "only the strong survive" is true, how did anyone survive the 80's? This self-help video on the art of meeting men is so ridiculous I'm surprised the entire world didn't just turn gay.

Let's see what kinds of tips and tricks they've got for us, shall we?

First of all - body language is very important. If you're an "attractive" woman who crosses your arms and legs, you can obviously only be described as a word so terrible even your mind won't dare allow you to think it. You don't need that woman. How dare she be annoyed if she's waiting on a mysterious bench for some form of public transportation that may or may not come.

Secondly - If you wear bright clothing and shoulder pads you are more likely to land a date. You should talk about small stuffed animals because that's what men are really interested in.

Third - Who is the woman with the deep voice and love of green?

Fourthly - If you stand (DON'T SIT) at the mysterious bench to nowhere while stroking your thigh as a man looks at you he will totally want you for your mind. Only losers watch reruns of Dallas while eating pints of ice cream.

Fifth and most important - It's totally cool to stare at a man to let him know you're interested. You should then engage him in cliched conversation about how the world sucks and there should be a newspaper strictly made for good news. This is probably the reason Cute Overload was made. Two strangers at a park bench chatting it up...

Sixth - Laugh at a man's jokes even if they aren't funny. Spill something on him just to score his digits to pay for his dry cleaning. But *hee hee* don't use red wine because that might really leave a stain!

Seventh - Take it from a man! Men are sometimes shy, you can totally tap a goldmine (or something else) if you go up to the man yourself. Also, telling a guy that it turns you on when he talks about his feelings is the key to getting him to open up to you.

Eighth - Now I get it, the woman in the green with the low voice was flirting with us. She's drawing us in closer with that sexy tranny thing she's got going on.

Is anyone still unsure of why the divorce rates have gone up?