I know what you're thinking, "Mia, you're not a man! Or at least I didn't think you were!" and you'd be correct. Still, if I were a man, Michael Lohan would be a better one than me. I know this because if there were people lurking around every corner willing to pay big bucks to beat the crap out of me, I would just hide in a Uhaul storage locker for all of eternity. Not Michael Lohan. He is heading to the boxing ring to let someone upper cut his crazy mug for charity!

What I wouldn't do for a million dollars right now. I'm sure Samantha Ronson was trying to get as many DJ gigs as possible for a chance to step into the ring with this fool. Of course, that may have violated the restraining order Lindsay put out against him. Long Island businessman Bob Venero will be putting the gloves on to beat Lohan down. His job title sounds kind of dorky, "CEO of Future Tech Enterprise", but I'm hoping he was once an Olympic fighter or something. Maybe he can spank some sense into Michael. This might be the only time in my life I've ever been interested in boxing (except maybe when Todd Bridges and Vanilla Ice went head to head).