The plague that is Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt continues to spread like crabs through a frat house. Their next attempt at whoring themselves out will be through dolls which bear their likeness. Some time in the near future, you'll be able to purchase Speidi Barbie Dolls. While I'm sure the couple would prefer for you to use the dolls to backstab their other Barbie friends, I have a few other uses for them.

1) Toilet scrubber
Heidi's hair will be perfect for the spots you can see while Spencer's facial hair will be able to pound out the really hard to clean places.

2) Dog toy
So as to not hurt the animals I'll probably have to take off their accessories and clothing, but I'm sure smaller animals won't be able to resist sinking their teeth into those plastic faces.

3) Voo Doo Dolls
It will be just like one of my favorite scenes from Teen Witch when Louise Miller creates a voo doo doll of her awful teacher and makes him do inappropriate things. I can think of a few inappropriate things I'd like to make Spencer and Heidi take part in!

I'm sure the list of alternate uses for these toys is plentiful. At least now I'm not as disgusted with Mattel for agreeing to put them out.