I mean really, as far as celebrity mug-shots go - this one really isn't all that bad. She still looks better than I do when I wake up in the morning after a long night of sipping herbal tea and have eyeliner boogies hanging on for dear life in the corners of my eyes.

My older sister used to babysit me and forced me to sit through hours of "Dynasty". I was more of a "Double Dare" kind of kid - it wasn't until years later that I spent any time giving thought to the lifestyles of the rich and famous. One year, she even had a "Dynasty"-themed birthday party and all of her friends got all glitzed up. I was allowed to invite a friend over, so she and I decided to play assassins. We took permanent black markers and drew all over our faces and then used toy guns to do a reenactment of the wedding massacre.

Anywho, no details yet about what exactly was in Locklear's system but I'm guessing it's nothing a double cheeseburger couldn't have helped.