Why? Why are Dinah and Ali Lohan getting their own reality show on the E! network? Haven't the Lohans learned from their mistakes? Can't they at least wait until Ali is of legal drinking age so that she can enter rehab at a more acceptable age? And Dinah, we get it, you're a MILF, you kind of look like Diane Lane, but couldn't you be more of a parent and less of a z-list celebrity? Haven't you seen what's been happening to the Spears family? Oh, and the show will be taking place in Vegas...Who wants to put bets on which of the Lohans is going to be coming out with a sex tape quicker, mother or daughter?

Either the only people auditioning for American Idol these days are lovers of being in the buff, or Randy, Simon and Paula have a keen eye for spotting naked talent. This season's best (non) dressed contestant may be David Hernandez.. As a stripper at the mostly male venue, Dick's Cabaret, Hernandez's voice wasn't likely what got him the job. We say: Who cares? Take a look at all of the celebrities whose sex tapes have circulated the internet and whose stardom led to gracing the pages of Playboy Magazine. Maybe what the public really wants is a bare American idol.

Anna Nicole Smith hasn't been punished enough, she is now going to be played by Nick Carter's ex, Willa Ford, in a new biopic. Here is the trailer

Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, will compare to the Anna Nicole Smurf parody:

We're not sure why some people are making such a fuss about this, we feel that it makes perfect sense for Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards to be the new face for Loius Vuitton. Slap a bunch of brown L's and V's on that leathery old face of his and he could probably be mistaken for one of their bags.

Exqueeze us OK! Magazine, but your reports that super doofus Keanu "Woah" Reeves and super cute indie queen Parker Posey might be a new couple MUST be lies. According to the mag rag, the two were seen "cozying up" at the Chateau Marmont. Gross. If anything, Posey must've been explaining basic algebra to him.

The BBC will be producing another reality television program in which contestants are judged for their modeling skills. The catch? All of the women will be disabled. Does this mean we can compete since we are stricken with large guts and short stature? We've always wanted to do some modeling - preferably while holding a bag of Cheetos.