By now you all probably know what a reality television junkie I am but what you may not know is that I have really great taste. Of course, after I tell you how obsessed I am with the show, Crowned, I fear that I may lose your trust altogether. Please, hear me out and consider this: Some of the moms and daughters are CRAZUH. Yes. Crazuh. What's not to love when there is a show with maniacal disillusioned people living in the same space as "normal" people? Does anyone remember Ripsi from the Bad Girls Club (quite possibly one of the worst and best things I've ever seen on tv...hot hot mess)? Please understand that you must separate the crazies from the bitches, the two do not always go hand in hand although on this show, the crazies are also bitches (which makes it even better in my book). Do you need visual proof? Look at the clips Jezebel strung together from this week's episode. The daughters were asked to come up with a 1-minute fitness routine to be performed with their mothers. The look on the ginger-daughter's face throughout the routine makes me want to pee my pants. It looks like the judges wet their seats a bit as well. The high kick at the end of the routine with the "Eeeeeyaaaah" exclamation seals the deal for me and also reminds me of the "Hey EEEEaaaaaaaaaaah" Howard Dean mash-up from a few years ago.
The soulless red-headed plastic women keep insisting that they are the best looking duo on the show. These women are so far from being in touch with reality, it actually makes this show more realistic than the others out there. I'm not sure if they are trying to make themselves feel better for the price of any "work" that's gotten done or if they think that if they believe it hard enough it will actually be true. As my mom pointed out to me on the phone the other night, these are sad individuals with no talent. Yes, I like them that way. It makes me feel brilliant.
Now, since it is almost Christmas time (which means seeing a movie and eating Chinese food to me) I will leave you with a must-have Christmas playlist. If it were up to me, I'd probably just listen to Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" on repeat like I did last year, but this year Sufjan Stevens came out with his own Christmas album. Go ahead and add this to your egg nog.
Mariah Carey
All I want for Christmas is you
The ULTIMATE Christmas song of all time.
N'Sync
You Don't Have to be Alone (On Christmas)
No, you can hang out with the other people in your boy band.
Miss Piggy
Santa Baby
Christmas is important to muppets too.
Run DMC
Christmas in Hollis
Light up the tree, not the streets yo.
Kelly Clarkson
Oh Holy Night
A mixtape isn't a mixtape without some Kelly Clarkson.
Keith Sweat
Be Your Santa Claus
Oh I bet you will Keith Sweat, I bet you will.
Otis Redding
White Christmas
Listen to while making your cookies.
The Kinks
Father Christmas
Rock n' Roll dude.
Stevie Wonder
The Christmas Song
Stevie is like the star at the top of the tree.